dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
