yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
