They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
