So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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