it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize