spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
