Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
