so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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