Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
