What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
