you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
