Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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