I wish I could punch you in the face.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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