bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
