Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
