So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
