what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
