Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
