Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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