absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
