4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
being pregnant is like rehab
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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