Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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