Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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