Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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