i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
