So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
