Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
