Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
