She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
