So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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