what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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