I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
