His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish life had little blips of pornography
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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