I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
