There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
