the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize