is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
