Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You are a genius and a whore.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize