i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My vagina is very pro this idea
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