made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
