As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
