ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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