I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this just has baby written all over it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
