So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
