Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
