she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
