i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
