just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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