So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
