I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
