We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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