she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize