this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
