I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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