Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
