I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
