so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
