You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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