You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
