So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
