I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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