you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize