We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
