I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
