i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize