OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
