I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
