sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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