just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
