Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
