This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
