dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
