The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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