Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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