some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
