This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
