I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
