that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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