She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
