He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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